My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
