How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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