Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
