In the future we'll all be gay
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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