I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
