thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
