and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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