thus making me awesome and them whores
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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