see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
