i think my tv is drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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