dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
