highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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