Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize