fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
