what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
