I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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