why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
