Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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