I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
