I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
did i just pee glitter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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