like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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