Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
