I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
