I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
