if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
