update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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