woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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