Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
