Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
