State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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