Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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