Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
