Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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