They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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