we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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