Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
