dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
