Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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