i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
