Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
