garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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