Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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