Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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