No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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