I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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