do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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