it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
