well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
