I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
