He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
