You really coming over, don't trick.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
